Bleh. This morning I talked with T about trauma stuff. That never feels awesome... but also I worry that since he has heard about truly terrible traumas from other patients (not to mention may have experienced trauma himself), my stuff must sound minor to him, and my reaction to my little traumas must seem overblown, too much, dramatic.

Though... I've been reading a lot of ego psychologists for the fellowship I'm in (e.g. Anna Freud, Paul Gray), and it makes me wonder if this transference of authority (like, the fantasies I have about what he feels in reaction to me) is just a defense against my feelings related to the trauma... and/or whether my fantasies about how he feels in relation to me might be reflective of how my parents reacted to my intense thoughts and feelings when I was growing up.