This is what I'm debating...I'd already canceled the phone consult with one female therapist, but that was partly because from looking at her website, she didn't seem like the right fit for me (I'd only looked at her Psychology Today profile before contacting her--lots more info on her website).

I technically have an intake with the one guy Wednesday, but I'm very torn on that (we had an email exchange, and he seemed promising). If I'm thinking of staying with Dr. T, it seems weird to do an intake (and it would be an actual intake session). Like not a good use of my money/time or the T's time. One thought I had was to be honest with that T and see if he might be willing to do a consult instead? Or if I should cancel the session, and see if he'd be open to seeing me in the future?

Another woman had offered me a session, I asked if I could do brief phone call or email to see about fit first. She said today that I could, but I haven't gotten back to her yet.

I think I'm just wondering how much sense it makes to be changing T's in the middle of a pandemic, when I feel in need of lots of support. Even though it may not be his favorite thing, Dr. T allows email (he explained more today). He's willing to see me 3 times a week if I want (I guess 3.5 times this week...) and tends to be flexible with rescheduling. If I switch to someone new right now, first, they won't really know me. And I have no idea if they'd be willing to meet more than once a week, even if just to begin with to sort of wean me back down. Or if they allow any outside contact. I suppose I could just ask them that...

But I guess part of it, too, is that with the guy, I think I'd be doing schema therapy. I'm dealing with lots of other stressors right now due to Covid (my daughter being a major one). Do I really want to undertake a method that delves deep into childhood stuff right now? (He also does EMDR, incidentally.) I mean, I think it's probably work I should do eventually. But I wonder if now is the right time, when my emotional resources are already stretched really thin?

Also, these T's are only seeing people virtually right now (which I completely understand), and I worry it will be difficult to forge some sort of bond without meeting them in person. Like maybe I'd rather wait until it's considered safe in my area to do in-person therapy to try someone new?

It may seem like I'm making excuses. But I do feel much better after talking to Dr. T today and could sense his dedication to working with me. He really thought he'd told me all that stuff about email before, but that maybe it just wasn't as starkly? Then I said not really, I didn't think he had, maybe little bits about it, but not as clear. So to me it felt like mostly new information, while he felt like he was just reiterating something he'd said before.

I probably should have tried to work it out with him before contacting other T's. But part of me just felt so wounded that it felt easier/less painful to look for other options. And that gave me something to focus on. I figure I'll think about it for a day or two then get back to the T's.

Thoughts? Do I still go to the (virtual) intake? If no, do I say it's because I'm working things out with my T? (I had just said I was seeing a T and wanted a change) And ask if I could potentially contact him again in the future? Or do I say I think I'd rather wait until I can meet a new T in person? Or ask about a possible consult vs. intake? And what about the woman? (The one that I canceled with, I said I didn't think she was the right fit.)

ETA: A complication of the scheduled session is that it's the same day, though a couple hours later, than my currently scheduled Dr. T session. I doubt I'd want to do two in one day (and am pretty confident my insurance wouldn't be good with that--both out of network), so I'd likely want to cancel with Dr. T. But I wouldn't want to tell him I'm seeing another T. As I worry it would seem manipulative. So...