Always laughing, joking, and enjoying my surroundings, I find myself doing the exact opposite. When I laugh, I wonder what others are really laughing at. I feel like I am the joke. The worse part is not being able to enjoy anything I do anymore. I have always been emotional, moody, and could easily bounce back up from a slump. Today, I have been in the same slump, this month, for three years. I have tried every tactic I've used before such as reaching out to family and friends, which was kind of difficult with the pandemic. That actually made it easiet for me to slump more. Looking for a job is not impossible, but to find one just might be. I tried going back to school. I have three new certificates to add to my resume from online courses.

All of this, yet here I am. Slumped. What else is there to do? I've prayed, I think I've worshipped. Don't mean to joke, but even my sense of humor is dry. I don't know what else to do. I even tried a natural remedy, that proved to work for me before, but this time it didn't. I think I have given up on myself, and my support system is what put me in this horrible place in the first place. The only ones who ever showed concern have passed away. It feels as though I don't belong anywhere. An outcast ostersized. I don't mind being alone, but even I know it isn't healthy to not have human contact, even if it's reaching out in social media, or calling someone to say hi.

I don't know what else there is for me to do. I hope something changes soon.

Thanks for reading...