I just realized its only been a total of 3 weeks since our last session. and one week you were on vacation, and that same week I had a vacation from hell. then would of seen you. Damn it! only if the things I write I could actually do. I am in the beginning stages of wanting to do something impulsive. I feel like i am going to burst into tears, and partly want to go drink, and partly just want to screw all this,and be damn ****ing done. Its been basically three weeks and I feel like its been months already. Not good. not at all. As much as I would love to send an email with the expectation that you would respond, I am not and writing on a forum. you know what also sucks about this, this is all me and it has no affect on you, I guess that is what happens when you have DID and BPD. I am in my midforties and I feel like such a damn child. I just cant stop this. Here come the darn tears. its early so will probably go grab some alcohol. nothing else to do....