I actually wanted to add something else. I had written before here how abusive my brother is and that I had emailed him that I wanted no contact with him except when absolutely necessary regarding my mother.

So I've actually been in touch with my sister-in-law about what has been going on and she sent this nice text to me yesterday, supportive, etc., but included this gem (when I told her that my mother had jumped down my throat about something): "Her jumping down your throat is bizarrely a compliment, just means she can be fully herself even if it is not a nice version!"

Coming from a person caught in an abusive relationship... If that's the message she's sending to my brother regarding his behavior, then I'm afraid he'll never get better...