Is she in the same area? I’d not go to out of state or out of country funeral if it’s not particularly close relative. Generally speaking it’s ok to not go to more distant relatives funerals like moms aunt. It’s not immediate family. It depends on a relationship too. I have an aunt and she is my only aunt, we are relatively close. Maybe not the closest but we are ok. My daughter would go to her funeral BUT if that aunt wasn’t involved in our lives and had no contact with us, I’d understand if my daughter didn’t go.

I’d not be embarrassed re not wearing black. In my understanding dark grey or navy are just as respectful. Not like you were wearing orange jumpsuit and flip flops