I don't know what to do. It's 4:30am and I can't sleep. My 2nd therapist said I have ptsd because of my first therapist who's a clinical psychologist. I have so much anger for my 1st therapist. She cared for me like nobody has. Then I got very suicidal because my life exploded & the double dosage of zoloft took away my emotions making life seem dark and pointless. She puts me in the psych ward & calls me the 2nd day while I'm in the psych ward telling me she can never be my therapist ever again. She's a clinical psychologist but said I need more intensive care than she can give me, and doesn't even care enough about me to recommend another therapist for me. When I needed her the most, she abandons me. What kind of a clinical psychologist does that? No therapy is worse! I come out of the psych ward with no therapist. My sister says I have to leave the house within 1 week because they're selling the house. So I end up homeless for 5 weeks. It's been 5 months since my 1st therapist abandoned me but I still feel so traumatized from her that it's all my brain will let me think about. My 2nd therapist said 1st therapist should at least give me closure. Over the months I sent her about 5 emails. She just ignores me. The last email I sent her was nothing but thanking her for every individual thing she did for me when she cared about me. I wished her the best in life. But now, I can't take it anymore. I was always so nice to her! She said she loved working with me. I'm sooooooo angry with her! I just want to write an email telling her how I really feel! How can she tell me she cares about me so many times and then abandons me in a psych ward knowing full well I'll most likely be homeless soon, not even caring enough to find one referral for me, not give me closure, ignoring my emails. She makes me feel like I'm a bad person. I've talked to about a half dozen therapist & my psychiatrist that she worked with. None of them understand her actions. One said she's being cruel to me by not giving me closure. The head therapist in the psych ward thought she might be having reverse transference. I don't want to lash out at her but I'm so hurt and traumatized by her. I cycle through suicidal thoughts and sometimes planning because of her. All I want to know is should I send her an email telling her how I really feel?