LT...I haven't kept up with the posts but ai just saw thiscartivle that may help you.

Research-backed coping strategies for pandemic uncertainty

I observe you saying you are afraid to switch therapist because they may not allow more contact during but they made out of outside contact. You also state that you don't think you can go down to fewer sessions or you write an email the night before and if you still feel that way the next morning you send it or you ask for an extra session because you can't wait two or three days until the next scheduled session.

I wonder if the larger part of your problems it's not necessarily with the relationship itself but with distress tolerance. In real life people always have disagreements there's always going to be things that were left unsaid and after thoughts a why didn't I say this oh why did they say this.

I know your therapist always accommodates that for you but I wonder if he's doing you a disservice. As a therapist I would hope that he would start helping you deal with your distress tolerance so that you wouldn't require those extra emails are those extra sessions. If he is not going to bring that up on his own maybe you should ask.

I know it is not fun to work on this subject but believe me it does help in the long run. There is so much more to distress tolerance then just trying to self soothe by going for a walk or watching a TV show.

Distress tolerance requires learning skills and it takes a lot of practice. It includes some CBT, DBT, mindfulness and muscle relaxation. You also might want to try some apps like Calm, Shine and Headspace. I use all 3 and it feels great to be able to come to session and tell my T about a new technique I learned. It shows him that I am putting in the work on my side as well. Sorry if I'm sounding pushy but I really think these skills would help you.