Haven’t checked in in a couple of days. Not really in a good head space. Just a combo of nicotine withdrawal and hormones I believe. Very annoyed at everything. I just feel like I hate everyone. I’m disgusted with my country. All of it, both sides. I don’t think anything will be better after the election no matter who wins. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be as far away from humanity as possible.

I’m having very shameful thoughts. Things I cannot speak out loud to anyone. Not even my therapist. At best I can write them down on a piece of paper and then shred it so no one finds it. That may help just so I can stop fixating on it.