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seesaw · Oct 11, 2020, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

****Venting****

I’ve noticed that a few of my threads that deal with how hard and stressful things are from me get a reply or two and drop off. Then I see all the fluffy threads with pages and pages of replies. I am not one to demand replies or anything like that, I’m just wondering if I rub people the wrong way somehow. I’m not jealous I’ve just wanted support or advice. Do you think it’s because my threads are not written well or too heavy? Mind you I’m not talking about every thread I make, or that my threads and my life somehow trump anyone else’s threads or concerns. I don’t and can’t expect people to sit around waiting for the amazing sarahsweets to post something. I’m not saying people should prioritize my posts or hang on my every word either.

I’m not one to go into my own threads and bump them or ask why there are only a couple of comments and demand more. I guess I’m vulnerable now and wondering if maybe it’s that people are put off by me and therefore won’t read or comment on my posts. Or that they are poorly written. Worse maybe people are sick of hearing from me. Maybe I’m on ignore by a lot of people and don’t even know it?

I’m not begrudging the lighter threads or people that post there. I’m not begrudging anyone who doesn’t want to deal with anything too heavy. It’s just that I can’t help but wonder what my part in all this might be. Have I been an asshole? Do I owe someone an apology? Did I unintentionally invalidate someone and now I’ve lost the opportunity for discourse?Like there are members that need emotional support and acknowledgement and post many times a day (which I am totally supportive of and take no issue with) and they get a lot of comments and affirmations. Could it be that I am supposed to ask for support in a more straightforward way? But then who the hell am I to tell people how to behave and what to do ?

I mean I do when I post a personal thread but should I make my needs more clear in hopes of receiving more support? (Sort of like when you’re in therapy and the therapist says to ask them for what you need)

I know it’s the internet and of course we are in unprecedented times, during a pandemic, and that this is a place where we all have a mental illness . the sad part of me that craves interaction wishes there was more. Sometimes there will be a few replies to me but not much back and forth.

There are some topics that have a lot of back and fourth but if I’m being real, those threads seem to have an element of discord, opposing views or sometimes really intense debate. BUT I wouldn’t mind the back and forth. I have no problem with civil discussion about myself and my choices even if people do not agree with me.

Ahh, really I’m just venting and being a PITA. As my mom and my grandma used to say “ quit being a tit*y baby, put on your big girl panties and move along “

Thanks for anyone who reads and please be honest if you have to.

Hi Sarahsweets,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I see your threads and even read them, and I often refrain from commenting because they are about your daughter or marriage or aspects of your life that, while I can be supportive, I don't have much experience with, and I feel like anything I say might be irrelevant. I'm sorry you feel ignored though. I know I have definitely experienced this where I post a thread pouring my heart out about something very specific to my life and only get a couple of replies. Sometimes when that happens I try to repost with a different title because often I think it's the title that throws people off. Just a suggestion.