Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
You've described that state of being so well. I don't think it's exactly psychotic, but I can't say for sure. There might sometimes be an aspect of psychosis to it. And I agree...the word "rumination" sounds weak, but I don't know of a stronger word to describe it. Being on a carousel is a good way to describe the sensation, I think.
I'm not positive, but I don't think the problem is part of depression, although I know that people with depression do ruminate. But I think with depression, it's generally involved with unwarranted guilt, shame, and generally bad and self-damning thoughts.
This thing is more energized (for me, anyway). I would be inclined to refer to it as an aspect of dysphoric mania (if it's a negative) or just plain mania (if it's a "positive"). As far as a mixed state, I'd say Yes to that.
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Thank you! Now that I've written it down like this and thought about it, I agree that it does feel like more of a manic or mixed symptom than a purely depressive one, but it's so hard to tell these things for sure with everything else that's going on. What I will say is that in my mind, rumination has more of a staring-out-the-window-at-the-rain vibe to it, whereas the experience I was trying to describe feels more like a straightjacket-in-a-padded-room sensation, if that makes sense.
Also the way my brain refuses to shut down and the thoughts just keep racing at night... The way it makes me want to scream and throw stuff at the walls... I don't know. I've kind of given up trying to make sense of it because I figure whether it's depression or a mixed/dysphoric state, ECT ought to help either way.