It's understandable that you feel this way. You always thought the video sessions would be temporary and you'd return to T's office so you're grieving for the loss of the space that you know you won't have again It's incredibly painful to cope with any sort of sudden loss, whether it's a person, object, or anything else, because of what they represent. As you say, in time you'd be able to recreate the same feeling of safety in the other office but in the meantime it's painful not knowing when this horrible pandemic will end and there will be a safe space with T. It's not easy to hold onto safety within yourself especially with how things are in the moment. It sounds like you're managing this as best you can by reminding yourself that you have the sessions with T, albeit by video, and things WILL be okay. But it's also okay to feel the loss of the office and the safety that represented. I know it's so hard to let go of these things.