Hi Ginger, I’ve had a very similar experience to you, I asked a T a question, she declined to answer and I felt monumental shame after. There’s something about the powerlessness of the moment and the ‘doing something wrong’, that for me seemed to trigger some ancient and painful feelings of shame. I managed to go back the following week and tell her. In response she quickly said that the question that I’d asked was a great question. I think I felt too much emotion to really say anything else. I ultimately stopped seeing her. What I would have liked her to say is:

‘I’m so sorry that I didn’t answer your question last week and I now see that my not answering triggered some very painful feelings in you, I’m sorry about that, I made a mistake, and I would like to make amends. Would it help if I answer the question now, I’d like to? I’d also suggest that we take time to understand these feelings of shame, when therapy triggers painful feelings, it’s usually possible to make this useful....