Hi Fuzzy. You know, I don't think that sometimes being outspoken is always a bad thing. I am not saying I think you are or aren't, though. I see you as open and liking to share and have others share with you. Those are definitely good things, in my book.

It makes me sad that you frequently write about others' judgement towards you, and your judgement towards yourself. I can clearly see the pain that causes you. I suppose it is easy for me to simply suggest that you say "F" what people think, but I wish there was a way for you to work towards that. And as for your self judgement, please be kind to yourself. You are a good lady who has feelings, and you deserve credit for your many lovely characteristics, which far far outnumber, I think, any negative ones.

I wish you could soon find a therapist that understands more of the above. They are out there. I know it! What exactly do you want in a therapist? Who would you be comfortable with? Besides just managing bipolar disorder (and its triggers) what else would be best for them to specialize in? You need not answer my questions to me, but I hope you will consider them as a stepping stone for helping yourself. You have the power.