Fuzzer, I experience you as wondrously childlike, extremely supportive of others, selfless, loving, and very unkind and judgmental toward you. It hurts my heart deeply.

WC has shared much wisdom here. I have had conflicts with two people here. One, I believed was repeatedly publicly shaming and denigrating me in front of the entire group here. The other, I have pretty much always experienced essentially as hating my very soul and hoping I did not exist, I suppose. It is not particularly subtle. I have done my best to try to address the perceived concerns, which I believe to be basically that I am a pompous, officious *** who is profoundly enamored with how stunning and spectacular he is. It has been my experience over the past 15 yrs that this is an uncommon criticism. Hard to be fond of oneself w ith what I have lived through. But my critic rejects alll that because I am a jerk. Okay.

Fine. But I, myself, do not share that position. Perhaps that is an error. Dunno.

So, one of the great lessons of AA is that others' opinions of us are none of our business. I agree. Can you try to incorporate that concept into your life?

I believe therapy cld really help you. Pls consider it. You are your own biggest critic. Like me. I now realize that this derives from being born blind with a silly-looking eye and stumbling and falling for five yrs and being brutalized by other kids and even adults. My conclusion at age two or three was that I did not deserve to be alive and should die. I now recognize this as false. My psychologist at OSH showed me this. I love her. Trying to build self esteem now. Trying.

I want you to try to find the origin of your not fairly valuing you. What is that about? It came from you. Sorry. I believe that. Please go find that answer.

Always here for you. Always and forever. You are a treasure.