Dear @jrae, Thank you for sharing your thoughts & feelings. So many others here experience similar overwhelming feelings of futility. It makes sence to me, knowing some of your circumstances, that you would feel this way. I wish that I knew how to make it all go away. All I can tell you is that I, & I'm sure certain others, wish that this terrible time you've been enduring will finally end & that you will be able to experience the happiness you deserve. God bless you, jrae!!