Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
Oh @Have Hope this is really tough and I want to validate you and your feelings. On one hand your trust issues stem from real experiences and that makes them relevant. On the other hand maybe he feels like because he hasn’t cheated you should know that he won’t. But experiences shape us. Whether or not you should just trust him isn’t the issue. The issue is he still is deceitful about certain things which triggers you understandably so, into worrying that these “tame” instances are indicative of a bigger problem.
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Thank you Sarah.
Yes.... though he has not been dishonest with me in a long time. The real issue is that HE has been dishonest in the first place, which triggers me into thinking he will be dishonest about other things, including fidelity.
And I am somewhat projecting onto my husband the traits of my ex. They mirror each other in a few ways. But my ex was more like a pathological liar. He, too, promised me he would NEVER cheat. We had multiple conversations about that topic. Then what happens? He cheated on me in the end and betrayed me.
And now, I see a similar pattern with my husband, who is not a pathological liar, but who has omitted the full truth of the matter in several conversations, which makes me mistrust him, and therefore believe HE too may cheat on me - also because he's made other promises and has broken those.