I just spoke with my therapist.

I have to figure out if I can allow myself to trust my husband when he has been dishonest with me on a few occasions.

One occasion, I can pretty much overlook (ie, the woman hitting on him).

Another? The credit card issue? I don't know if I can move past it and trust him. To me, that was a pretty sneaky thing to do behind my back. And if he can be sneaky in that way, what other ways will he be sneaky behind my back? It's a question of character.

And the third instance? REPEATEDLY telling me he NEVER cheated on his ex wife when he in fact DID kiss another woman? That's pretty questionable to me.

He claims that he didn't think kissing was cheating, AND that he had forgotten all about it.

I am not exactly buying his story, especially when he claims he knew after that this that his marriage was over.

I am also now uncertain about whether he lied about when and where this occurred - I could have sworn he said it was at a camping festival where he kissed this woman, then later he told me it was at a barmixtzfah.

So there are remaining questions on this last one -- did he lie, and then cover up his initial lie with more lies?

So, I have to figure out whether I can move past these few instances and move forward with trust in him OR not.

And right now, I really don't know if I can move past it and trust him. I have not been able to fully trust him ever since these things occurred, and it's been a year.

To me these are red and yellow flags --- in my last relationship, I saw red flags, instances where I should not trust him, I decided to trust him (stupidly), then he turned out to be a liar and a cheater. I really don't want to make the same mistake TWICE.

What also concerns me with him? Every time my husband blows a fuse over my mistrust of him? He acts like "how dare you question my integrity!" When in fact, his integrity IS in question based on these past instances. Then he demands that I NEVER question him again.

And once when I asked why I was not a member of his close knit private Facebook group of friends? He blew a fuse over that, thinking I was accusing him of doing something secretive. I don't know -- could this be a matter of doth protest too much?

He seems to blow a fuse every single time I am questioning him. Which makes me even MORE suspicious of him.

There may be NO way for me to get past these first untruths with him. I may never be able to trust him again.

In which case, this may need to be over. And that is what I am pondering RIGHT NOW.