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Originally Posted by divine1966
I do live in the US but prior to that I lived in Europe. In my experience people don’t just give other people money, especially large amounts, on neither continent. Yes some people support their spouses if one stays home with young children or someone became disabled etc people also support their kids when they are young or elderly parents and so on. I rarely ever met people on either continent who supported others in different circumstances, even if they were wealthy.
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That's your experience then. Mine differs.
Also, you mention support for disabled people. I'm pretty much that category.
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honestly I’d be livid if my husband gave some woman 6000 or even 600 or even 60. That would be absolutely ridiculous. But we share finances and household bills and have common financial plans etc Our money belongs to us both so we can’t just throw it around without consulting with each (of course we spend what we want with regular purchases but not with large amounts like thousands of dollars!)
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I was livid too because I never asked him for any money and then there was this woman suddenly who got more from him than I ever did. ...
But again, he has over 3 million dollars, he can throw around a lot more money than average people lol
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But your boyfriend likely felt he can do what he wants with his money. He doesn’t think it’s something you two had to discuss or that money belongs to you both. He is who he is. Do you think he is capable of changing?
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No, he doesn't think the money belongs to us both in general. He said he would pay for food and essentials if I needed that but I don't want to beg for that, I know it would be a fight to ask for money even if he says he would be willing to help if I'm completely unable to work. He does have a will where he specified how much I'd inherit (a lot) but that's not really something on my mind. My mental illness and my struggles with it are in the here and now and not in some far future if I even stayed with him that long, if our relationship worked out that well. You asked, I frankly don't know what he is capable of changing, I just know I myself am changing (as a result of really hard work on myself for several years), so the relationship balance (or lack of balance) cannot stay as it was before, so I want to see what comes out of that.
EDIT: Actually thinking about that. He did say something like the money belongs to both of us...BUT he controls it all. Is a better way to put it. Does that makes sense?