Thank you all. Sadly T won’t go back there anytime soon, and even if he did, I doubt he’s be ok with me asking for a photo. I’d love to be able to just ask him, but I’m not there yet with the whole “being able to talk about anything” thing. Maybe one day.

I think it’s just a case of accepting that I’m going to have to wait. It will happen at some point, I will be in the same room as him again, but it’s unclear as to when that will happen. I have to learn to live with that and accept that I won’t feel safe for a while and that I’m going to survive this and come out on the other side and work on all the trauma that this covid thing has triggered. Sorry for being so negative, I just feel so on edge all the time. I don’t know how to get through the days anymore.