i have been seeing my T twice a week for several months, so you can imagine how dependent i am on him.

suddenly a life event happened. very unexpectedly. my daily routine life changed. everything changed. i could no longer keep my appts.

and with this event, my anxiety was very high and everything became so messy.

My T is the only one who knows all the details of my situation.
i have no one else to talk to.

i emailed my T a short email, saying i cant keep my appt. because this happened. he replied ok . if u r available. email me for an appt. ???

there was no mention of the event and the changes it brought.

i emailed back saying a lil bit more that hey i just can not...spelled it out better that its next to impossible to have a virtual appt and how i can not believe this all happened and my shock.

no response from him .

i was all alone in this. the person who knows of my situation,could not even offer 2 sentences of support.
disappointed. alone. anxious.

things were getting out of control and i really need to talk to someone ...so i just sent him an email saying hey. he did respond..saying schedule a session. i have clearly told him i can not? and he said asked how i was and i can write him a few lines telling him how i was doing.

well.

i word vomited.

i wrote to him how everything has been going wrong, despite me trying my best to adapt to the situation. it was hmm...mid length email.

its been 24 hours and he has not replied.

i feel stupid.

i feel unsupported.

like he will only be there in session , outside he is not available at all.

when i was SUI, he had said reach out to me if u need anything, even on weekends, and i told him i will be fine. i wont reach out. but thank you.

this time i needed him. i reached out.

and so far got nothing.

will write more later.