y'know how we talked about how the good little girl is not so much in evidence with school anymore? well she's trying to creep back in today as I'm starting to work on my presentation for next week. I totally recognize that it's her in my head thinking "omg i'm going to completely screw this up I need to just withdraw from the class while I still can! I can't do this! i'm too stupid! aaaagggghhhhhh!"

(and YES, I do see how this pattern of mine to want to run away when things get hard, because I might fail, might be rejected, it so intertwined with this core wound I'm working through right now.)

BUT. because I know now that she isn't me, that I created her, not the other way around, I know I can choose to not listen to her. I may need to play some classical music or something in the background while I work on this to drown her out, but I'm not going to let her ruin this for me. I want this psych degree and I can't get it without this class.