1day... you are experiencing the classic Depression Fallout. There is a great book you should read titled... (guess what...) "Depression Fallout -- How YOU can survive when they are depressed"). I can clearly relate to everything you are saying because it was my life for about 2.5 years. Except I would have given a limb if my husband had a 1/2 hour/week volunteer job -- he really just didn't get out of bed during most of that period.

There is another support forum for people who have spouses/significant others who are depressed or have bipolar. I'll PM you the link. I'll warn you that there is a lot of drama on the other board -- we are a tense group, as you can imagine -- but you'll find that you are definitely NOT alone.

And it does get better. My husband's depression (and ADD, it turns out) is being managed well now and he pulls his weight like I never imagined possible!