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Zoeing
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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 33
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 06:17 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzen View Post
I can relate to your parent situation. This year has made me realize that I have to stop looking to them for any validation or encouragement. They don't seem to agree with my approach in life, so will I ever get their support? I need to stand on my own and validate myself. In my situation, my parents (mostly my mother) has always had expectations for me that I never wanted to follow. at times, I tried to please her, but would give up after realizing it wasn't what I wanted. She would be disappointed. She thinks she knows how I should 'be'. Isn't that my decision?

You can treasure loved ones emotionally and accept them. But, maybe looking for their support is separate. Their ideas on things and their values are likely not the same as ours. They might be negative about what we are doing because they are trying to protect or control us because of their own expectations of us. I am not sure they will ever support us the way we want to be supported.

I keep telling myself: Be who you are and believe in yourself.

Thank you sooo much! Really appreciate this. The most frustrating thing for me, is that they say hurtful words when we disagree with each other, unreservedly. Some are even unfounded, especially my dad.

Let's say if you tell someone to be better at something or do things in a certain way, you better be good at it yourself, or doing it that way yourself right? That's the most upsetting with them.

Parents like to put out their "parents demeanours", or "dignity" whatever you call it.

Sad thing, though, is that when I'm championing, I don't have anyone to celebrate with. And when I'm down and out, I don't have anyone to talk or cry on...

Anyway, enough of this rainy day bs

Thanks again for the encouraging comment.
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