He works solo at private practice.

We have never talked on phone. So it will be awkward.

He asked me to write a few lines how i was doing. I wrote plenty because i have absolutely no one to talk to. Not a single person except him.

When i cancelled the appt. my first email I summarized what happened. He wrote schedule an appt if u can to talk. This hurt as well because i needed more from him. I needed support but did not get it. I put On my big girl pants like ok i can do this. I dont need hand holding.

But i couldnt.

In desperation i reached out to him and just sent him an email with a single word. I didnt want to but hes the only one who could understand.
I couldnt even write a sentence because i was not sure if it was welcome.
I just hit sent without a thought. To my surprise he did reply in the morning. Saying he understands its difficult to make an appt. and i can reply with how i was doing.

Just to know someone at the other end , was listening ... gave me the courage to write how i felt.

Then dead silence.

He still hasnt replied.

I am certain if i send him an email for an appt. he will reply.

Theres a chance he didnt read my email and then theres a chance he did read it.

Not sure how to proceed.

I dont want to sound desperate by reaching out again.

A late response will be better than no response.
I hope i hear from him tomorrow.