Hello everyone,
I am just kind of venting and seeking maybe some advice, family and friends really do not understand.
I recently made a post about wanting to stop all my medications because of my dr keeps adding meds and changing them all the time Literally only one appointment this entire year has not involved a med change of some sort. (was directed here). My dr had added seroquel (have not taken it) and it pissed me off because I did not think that I was going into mania. Sleep had been slowly dwindling down and now its been 2 full days no sleep, racing thoughts/ maybe well the only way I can describe it is its like endless banter half the time its not even a flowing thought its just random sentences or words, I am struggling with extreme anger again every little thing pisses me off, and feeling paranoid. Feeling kind of defeated because I still do not understand what is happening to me, and struggle to identify hypo manic / manic episodes or if that is even what is happening to me! Does anyone have any tips, how do you see it coming Or if that is even whats going on? The worst part is I still do not know if I want to continue pumping poison into my body. I have a dr appointment on Monday. maybe I will go back to therapy. I quit going in July. Dr mentions it ever appointment. I had been going for 16 years, I was 13 when I started this whole journey and still do not understand so whats the point? Maybe I am doomed to this party in hell for an eternity. Sorry I know this is long. Any helpful advice would be so welcomed!
Thank you!
Mana