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Your description - "endless banter" - perfect words to use for the racing thoughts of mania. I will remember to use those to describe to my pdoc the next time I have those thoughts.
I can't say, of course, whether you're a permanent party guest. In general, though, BD is considered a life-long illness. And remember, it is a brain disorder, it's not something you "do wrong."
Personally, I have never viewed meds as poison. I see them more as a way to protect my mind and body from the stress of the illness I have.
cyclist is correct...there is an immense amount of support to be had on this board. And with reference to support - I agree with your idea. Therapy can be so helpful for those of us with bipolar disorder.
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