I'm really unsure about this, is this appropriate, can someone just read it and let me know. I just want to be transparent with her.

Dear XXX,

I have been wanting to say this for a while but I haven’t been able to in sessions, so I’m writing this email.

I want you to be 100% honest with me if you are ok working with me especially when my eating disorder is the main concern and risk. I know last time we had to end quite abruptly towards the end as I was then starting to see the specialist ED team, I did felt like how I was at the time was probably too much for you.

I want to be as transparent as possible with you too that at the time when we ended I did see the ending as the same as all the other times that I was let down by others initially, but as time went on I understood it wasn’t.

I felt quite guilty that I was letting you down as well, I knew you were trying to help, but when I was that unwell I pushed away anyone who was trying to support me and that included you as well.

I do need someone to be fully straight with me. I am really bad at understanding subtexts. I really don’t mind if it’s harsh sometimes, but I just need someone to be very firm and honest.

I might be wrong and too sensitive but I have at points felt maybe you didn’t want to work with me. I do probably need a bit of reassurance at times on that because the norm for me has been everyone leaves and that includes professionals.

It’s taken me a very long time to get this far in therapy, and I do want you to know that I thank you for assisting me in making this possible.

I really don’t mean anything bad in this email, and I just want to be fully honest with how I feel about therapy at the moment. It’s been a constant learning process for me to be talking in therapy, and also learning to trust somebody. I know a lot of my insecurities also play into not fully trusting you to be able to talk about everything, but I am working on that, and I hope you can understand that at times I might need a bit more reassurance than a normal person.