Sometimes I get the feeling that I lost my voice along the way, like, it's there but I prefer to be silent mostly than express myself.
I was reading through the book Halo Grasslands and I came across a character, Spartan Lucy B091(Spartans are basically humans augmented to perfection). Okay so on her first mission her whole team of 100+ died, only she and another Spartan survived it. But the damage done was staggering, she never spoke again, not because her voice box got damaged but because of the sheer weight of the trauma and sometimes I feel like I'm another analogy of Spartan Lucy🤦, I've lost interest in things I used to love, I've lost interest in friends, family also, virtually everything and sometimes I get scared that I'll totally loose my voice from the staggering pain. Some days are worse than others and even though I'm used to it, it's still wrong and I don't want it anymore. This is just how I feel right now😨