I am spiraling into yet another uncontrollable mania. Have not slep for a week except the day I took seroquel. Only problem with the seroquel is that I can't seem to wake up. So I have the choice of sleeping zombie or wild maniac who needs no sleep. I don't like these choices. It seems like none of my meds work anymore. My T says it is because I self medicate and I built up a tolerance to medication. I self medicate with the medication they perscribe me so how is this a problem. Maybe I am just confused. I am currently taking Lithium, Topomax, Trazadone, and Seroquel as needed. I see my P doc tomarrow, I just need to make it through today. I am really on edge and struggling though. I don't really know why I am writing this though. I don't really seem to connect with anyone here anymore anyhow. I feel like an out cast. The story of my sad little life. At least I know there is a loving GOD who cares for me. Why he lets me suffer again and again I don't know. Maybe I am suposed to be learning something from all of this. Hope you all have a wonderful day. I myself will be in hell until I see the pdoc tomarrow and probablity for days after that. Have fun.