Ive looked deep into this. Look into soul retrieval. We lose parts of ourselves due to trauma. That part is disconnected or sometimes lost forever because it could not deal with the trauma. Ive been wanting to see a shaman to perform a soul retrieval but have never gotten around to it. Its something worth looking into.
I feel dead inside. As if im living in hell.
This is what normal people dont understand.

U know. And Ive experienced God. Ive experienced the spirit world/asrtal world/obe

But, probably due to meds. Particularly ap. I feel like it disconnects us from our spirit/soul. True self.

This is the main reason i have gone off my meds so many times. Why? Well i dont get joy out of anything. Is the trade off feeling dead inside all the time?
I used to feel something from prayer. If i say prayer now its like im talking to a damn wall. Absolutely nothing there.

Im going on two yrs stability. Taking my meds but at what cost? I cant live life this way. I do all the healthy things im supposed to do.

I want to feel alive again.