That's nice to hear. What I mean by unintentionally hiding your real self....is...well, firstly you seem very concerned, worried and confused about behaving correctly. That gives me the impression that at some point you have been made to distrust your own sense of how best to behave. It gives me the impression that you have had, at one point, a clearer sense of purpose, but things/people have stood in your way, and confused that sense purpose, so now you've got to find it again.

I think your idea of success is very noble, and if you can get a good idea of your strengths, and figure out where your heart lies, then you'll really be onto something.

What's your situation like? Are you having any kind of therapy?