L is trying to teach me that thoughts, feelings, and actions do not define my core-self. It's hard to accept that. I asked H why he's still with me knowing what I have done. He said similar: that I'm a good person and have worked hard to not do the things in my past.

L says she's going to teach me some anxiety reducing skills tomorrow, so as we discuss these anxiety producing topics, I can handle it better. We did some grounding exercises last night and some progressive muscle relaxation. They did help. One day, we're going to go through the words to reduce the anxiety there so we can discuss things more clearly. This is all so scary to me.