Yes, I agree with the difference between guilt and shame. But there's also regret which is what L is teaching me. Guilt is doing something you know is wrong, and regret is when you do something wrong that you didn't know at the time was wrong or you didn't have all the information.

I'm realizing that most of my adult relationships are regret. But the stuff in my childhood is guilt. I.e. I did bad and I knew it was bad, therefore I think I'm bad. L is trying to show me that I'm not a bad person just because I did bad things. I'm not at a place where I believe that.

L says our first step is learning to deal with the anxiety. Second is understanding why she wants to move towards it, and why I want to move away from it. Third is more prep work. Not exactly sure what that entails. After that, reducing the anxiety of trigger words. Beyond that, I'm not entirely sure...