I have not checked in in a while. I feel like I'm on a downward spiral. I probably should call my doctor but I'm not sure that I want to. I'm tired of meds altering who I am. Just let me be and let us see what happens. Maybe it won't be so bad. I lived 38 years with no meds and I did just fine.

My ex husband called today. I think he was drunk. He never used to drink. He should probably stop. He said he wanted me back. I don't want to be controlled by anyone anymore. I like belonging to me.

I hate my life. I'm so disappointed in my choices. I should have done things differently. I can't go back.