I really have no idea what I'm supposed to do - admittedly, I'm not a natural empath, and I'm the worst at knowing how to be married much less being nurturing (though I thought I was getting better at it).

I listen to him when he talks about something that bothers him. I acknowledge his feelings. I sit with him, touch his arm or hold his hand.

He says he cooks more than me which is true, but only because he works at home and I don't, and he always cooks during the day so I really only cook on weekends (what am I supposed to do there, double-cook for the day?).

He says I don't comfort, that he's better at comforting himself than I am at comforting him. He says being nurturing is natural for a woman and that I should "just do it." I have no reference points as my parents were/are awful with each other and were the worst at parenting.

What am I missing?