Ah, I see. So it's commonly thought of, in psychology, that socially positive personality traits are openness, extraversion, agreeableness and conscientiousness; the negative ones are neuroticism, narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.

Self absorption, in your case, seems to me is due to neuroticism (negative thinking, basically)...less than any of the other negative traits. I wouldn't be surprised if this stems from having negative experience, and could be overcome.

We all need a little narcissism to survive, moreso as children, and hopefully it's something we can grow out of. You strike me as less than averagely narcissistic, which could well give you a blind spot when it comes to dealing with highly narcissistic people, who are likely to have next to no interest in yourself, other than how you can benefit them. Preaching to a lion is an excellent metaphor...it isn't too safe to be very open and vulnerable around people like that, and it's probably gonna make you guarded and anxious.

I don't think it's anyone's fault, but if you are able to make your own wellbeing your own responsibility, and figure out the areas you need help with, and ask as specifically as you can manage for the help that you need, then I think you'll have the best chance of improving your wellbeing.

I'm really not sure about permanent damage from medication. I have had good and bad experiences with medication, and I know that different meds affect people differently. Are you in the US? I'm not sure if you would be offered cognitive behavioural therapy or not, but imagine that would help your anxiety...as for an incorrect diagnosis...if you're going in asking for help due to intrusive thoughts, obsessions etc. then it really ought to be the case that you're offered things that are likely to help you. If you think that something else is going on, then it really is your choice whether or not to accept their advice