I'll try to reply more fully tomorrow, but must say this is brave for you to share, and it is not always obvious what can traumatise a small child/baby, and leave them stressed confused and lacking resilience. I think a move into trauma informed care is a really positive movement in psychology and psychiatry, and polyvagal theory explains a lot of my own experiences... Making a Nervous System "Menu" - a Tool for Your Clients - NICABM some good resources, I think