There's lots to say here and I only have a few minutes. You are doing the right thing by trying to navigate this complex issue. I don't know you but I can tell you that you don't deserve this. Abuse is not ok. Try to practice self-care - whatever that means for you. For me it means reading, running/walking, supplements, water, sleep, fresh air, writing, and organizing (I am goal-oriented and it makes me feel good to complete something) Definitely get that support group stable - even if you have to find someone outside of who you would normally choose - someone who doesn't know your husband personally like an old classmate or a work friend. I did want to just say a couple of thoughts about your dog. There are some that wouldn't understand this... but I want you to know that when I read your paragraph - I thought "oh no" - the dog feels like the straw that broke the camel's back as they say. I lost my 16 year old dog last year and I am shocked to say, I still miss him every day. It was the first pet I have lost that was truly mine. I had no idea how much actual support he gave. When my husband told me he wanted a divorce a couple of months ago and I was reeling a bit - feeling unbalanced and sad and overwhelmed, I can't tell you the number of times I thought, I wish my dog was here. So HUGS to you. As for making new friends... look at what Meetup (google it) has to offer in your area - go hiking and other social distanced activities that could expose you to new people. Try to look hard at your life - and seek connections. They are there... we just tend to be so busy, it's easy to overlook them. For me, it was a friend from HS, a friend from college, an old co-worker who left the company, a local old-coworker who left the company and the sister of my best friend. (believe it or not my best friend is not very helpful as she is SO MAD at my husband that it's not helpful. LOL) Most of these are not local so I do spend a lot of time on the phone. And I make an effort to text these people every couple of days to try to keep up the relationship during this time. I'd also try to find a therapist if you haven't already, it's really helpful to talk to someone who is paid to hear what you feel like are your most painful thoughts. LOL. Some things you just aren't go to say outloud to anyone else! Good luck. You are not alone.