Thank you everyone. it sounds like it's pretty unanimous--I should go to therapy!

I was able to sleep better last night--took a Xanax, which I hate to do, because it makes me feel like a failure, but I did it, and slept for 6 hours straight.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My getaway hole includes just my T

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I really like that, foreverlost. Maybe I need to think of my T in my hole with me (hmm that may not capture quite what I mean )

My anxiety is caused by several coincident life issues right now (I may lose my job, it looks like I may lose a lot of money in my divorce financial settlement that I had been counting on, my checking account is almost empty, my roof is leaking, I may have to sell the house, my youngest daughter is failing classes at school, H is berating me on the phone, I need to ask for a raise, etc.) and when that happens, even little things piling on will cause me to be even more anxious, because my load is too great. I am having a guy do yardwork for me now and that would normally not be anxiety producing for me, but because I am already at the edge, it is! It is hard for me to talk to him about some things I think he did unsatisfactorily--aaaackkk, conflict!

I also notice that my youngest daughter is so sensitive to my moods. My anxiety is high and she becomes very demanding, unpleasant, hard to be around. That adds to my anxiety. A circle.

Well, yes, anyway, I'm going to go to T tomorrow. Part of the "problem" about going to see T is I like him so much that just being with him makes me feel really good, but that isn't what I need to deal with anxiety, is it? So when I "feel good" with him then it seems like the problem isn't as important and then I leave his office and I am right back where I started from. I know T told me once before a long time ago that he was worried I was unable to deal with an issue successfully in his office because of the positive feelings I had for him--they were masking my grief over something else. So I had to deal with this outside of his presence. (He gave me advice on how to do this.) Does anyone else ever get that?

Thank you again everyone. Your thoughts and encouragement are helpful!

P.S. Lenny, the only med I have is Xanax and it puts me to sleep so I don't take it during the day. I tried buspar for anxiety last year but it wasn't very effective. In general, I've been managing OK since then, anxietywise.