My EKG came back without the scary reason we were afraid of. I do still have a couple things my pdoc wants my family doctor to check out but that's fine.

I have made up my mind that I'm going to see my therapist in 2 weeks. I'll not be allowed around my mom or nieces for 2 weeks after that but I need my therapist at this point. "Mark", my family member who is dying, is dying. I don't know how fast now but I think faster than we expect. I need my therapist to help me get through. I do not want to wind up IP after he dies because I can't handle it when I might have handled it if only I'd worked on it before.

Therapy went better than it has in months. I finally realized that I have to tell him when I'm crying when we're on the phone. Crying was good; I haven't cried in months. We didn't discuss something we deeply disagree with. And I was finally easy to tell him I'm so sorry he has to deal with this with me 10 months after his own dad died. Next week we're going to try video again.

I feel so relieved about everything.