bpcyclist, I will simply just keep using the new one my nephrologist recommended. Other than a cardiologist, no other doctor is usually as expert on hypertension as a nephrologist. The last time I had my blood pressure taken by a nurse, it was at an urgent care center. My readings were 200/100 something and then 177/something high. So, I'm assuming those were accurate. If not at all, then I guess pretty much no blood pressure monitor in the whole entire world is really accurate. I can say this, given my life right now, I'd be mighty surprised if my true blood pressure is actually a sweet 95/65. The readings (in offices) last year were all close to 140/something.

I had a telephone appointment with my nephrologist a few minutes ago. He's an extremely nice man that clearly cares about my health. He reminds me of my psychiatrist. In fact, they know each other. My psychiatrist recommended him years back. I think he's even better, in many ways, than my general practitioner, who is fine, but is rarely available and seems to want me to be on the verge of death before he prescribes anything, for anything. Today the nephrologist prescribed both a blood pressure medication and a small dose of a statin. I'm grateful, and know that my psychiatrist will be satisfied with this new treatment. I don't give a damn if the general practitioner is, or not. I don't even plan to tell him or see him again, if possible. My nephrologist already plans to talk to me at least two more times before I move to Europe, and said we'll even talk after my move to Europe, stating that the consultation price (without American-based insurance) will be quite adjusted to suit my situation. He's also ordering more blood tests, one of which relates to adrenaline levels. Not sure what very high results for that would signal. I told him my adrenaline levels are surely already high, but perhaps there could be a physical reason as well? I guess best to check.

I'm already yelling today. Sorry if any of my writing clearly reflects that. I just want the flooring people to come ASAP so we could, as my dad often said "Get the show on the road!" I even told my husband that he should offer a bit more money to the flooring people, if any expediting needs to be done. Update: I am overhearing him on the phone with them now, and they clearly do not yet have our carpeting in, though they have the vinyl wood-like flooring. I forced Hubby to call because I knew I would lose it. Apparently our realtor called them yesterday to put a fire under their butts. She also called the handyman who has not yet fully completed all we need him to do. We can only do what we have control of. It is so frustrating when you feel like you have to follow up, pressure follow-up, pressure, and beg and plead. The handyman called yesterday and said he'd come briefly today, but I doubt he will do more than a couple small things unless we keep him under house arrest. This last statement is nothing we'd literally do. I'm not yet that far gone.

I've been taking Ativan the last few days, plus, to help me get to sleep. It usually helps, and has helped. However, I will call my psychiatrist today and mention my situation and the new medications prescribed by the nephrologist. The time has come to calm this growing beast. I feel like I'm under attack by the stressful forces around me. I am not willing to hide, so I'm feeling ready to fight. I need help with this fight so that the forces (or my own fervor) don't overtake or figuratively (or literally) kill me off.

Add on (for whomever reads this far): I left a message for my psychiatrist. I am confident that he will call me back. I hate his voicemail because it always cuts me off too early. Is that deliberate in order not to hear long rants/pleas from patients? Or, is it actually still recording (despite the click) and he hears me ranting about his stupid voicemail click? I already picked up my new medications and took them. I also took a PRN 50 mg Seroquel iR. I almost felt like I was going to go nuts in the pharmacy, but I managed not to. I think pdoc will increase my Seroquel XR either at night or add a morning dose. Or both. That would take me up to 700 or 750.