Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLady
It's common to block friends' access to your friends list. I've done it. Who I'm connected to is private to me. I'm also not interested in the numbers game so I bow out. He may have blocked this to prevent potential issues. You read it as him being secretive. He corrected it again for you so maybe try not to over-read this one.
The trouble with dishonesty is that when one tells a truth, we don't find certainty in it. Your husband has dug a hole for himself and although he's sick of these questions, it's truly a part of the package when we're dishonest.
The bottom line here is, you don't trust him. Damage is done. Let go of the what-ifs and the snooping and focus on an exit plan. It's hard, I know. You can't change him or your feelings about him. If this was strictly due to your previous relationship issues, then this would be all on you. These feelings though, were brought on by HIS actions and you need to keep reminding yourself that. Sorry for my direct approach.
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Thanks for your thoughts. I do appreciate directness sometimes.
I just emailed a couples therapist. I am not ready to walk away yet until we see a counselor first. So much is invested in this marriage, and I need to be 100% sure before I walk away.
Yes, he has eroded the trust and has dug a hole. You're absolutely correct. He cannot tolerate me not trusting him and questioning him, when I feel I have that right to do exactly that.
We need a third party intervention, ie a therapist.
What I question about the Facebook is he changed his privacy settings yesterday and opted for total privacy of his friends list, including from me. That makes me mistrust him even more. What is he hiding, if anything, is the question it raises.
And yes, I may never be able to trust him again based on the few instances of broken trust. This is very very possible at this juncture, and I am trying to wrap my brain around accepting this reality right now. It's SO difficult.
Thinking of ending my marriage is like the end of the world in my mind right now.