Hello Gr8shpr: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry you are faced with this most difficult situation. My own situation is entirely different from yours. However I can relate to what you wrote about how things might have been different had your husband been diagnosed early in life and had you known.

I'm an older person myself. And I often think about how my own life might have been different had people been more aware of mental health concerns way back when I was young & had there been the types of mental health services available that are available nowadays. But they weren't. So that's just the way it was... and is.

I hope you're able to access some services to help both you & your husband cope with his conditions & that you find being here on PC to be of benefit too. My best wishes to you both.

P.S. Here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of caring for the caregiver:

Caring for Yourself When Caregiving

Caring for Yourself When You're a Caregiver

Caregiving: Taking Care of Your Spouse & Yourself

7 Depression Busters for Caregivers

Help for First-time Caregivers