I totally forgot about my therapy appointment at 2 pm. Of course she only tried contacting me on my cell phone. My cell phone has been giving me trouble. If she even attempted to call my landline, she would have reached me in a New York minute, but I realize people are so extremely obsessed with cell phones. When I finally realized I missed the appointment, I emailed her to ask that she delete my cell phone number from her records and only ever call my landline. I'm only going to replace my cellphone in Czech Republic. I told her last week, and the week before, that my cell phone was acting up, and she forgot. So we both forgot something. I didn't feel like talking to her today, anyway. She did ask me to call her phone number. I don't want to. The phone just rang, but I didn't pick up. Hubby didn't either, because the phone is not in the bathroom, which is his usual spot.

My psychiatrist called back. He always does. He's great about that. It was a little annoying because he must have been at home. A dog was barking. It was distracting. I told him about his voicemail and asked if that "click" meant it stopped recording, and he confirmed that. He asked me if I took a prn, and I said yes. He then said for me to take another 50, but of the XR, right now. Then add 50 XR to the mornings from this point on. Of course I only just barely made any of this out because of the poor sound quality of the call. I think he was speaking on speaker phone. He then told me to rather email him that he checks his emails more often than the vmx. I then reminded him that he used to be opposed to email and that he is a changed man. He agreed that he's changed.

I spent the time I was supposed to be on my therapy call cleaning up my stuff on the computer. I de-followed a lot of people on WordPress, unsubscribed to many newsletters, etc., and cleaned out my email inboxes, some via mass delete. I'm now concentrating on my file folders on my computer. I told pdoc that I am taking Thoreau's advice to "Simplify, simplify, simplify!" Everything is just too much right now, so I need to trim away all of the mumbo jumbo and excess fat. I want a straight and clear path to walk on. No more slaloms to ski, or mountains to climb. I'm retiring my tennis racket and walking away from the area the many balls are flying to. I stand tall with my two arms out straight. Breathe in deep and exhale all of the impurities. I am SHE who can triumph! Don't even try to fight me. World, you can't even touch me! I will be free without too much added weight in my mind and on my shoulders. Let me fly like a free bird, in a celestial dance, with only the air currents gently caressing my feathered wings. I can reach any height I want and travel in any direction. The world is below me. I can choose to visit it where, when, how or if I like.

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.

'Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail.'"

-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden