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T told me once before a long time ago that he was worried I was unable to deal with an issue successfully in his office because of the positive feelings I had for him--they were masking my grief over something else. So I had to deal with this outside of his presence.

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Could it be that your are just so relieved to have someone to communicate with that when you meet with him you just want to soak up and enjoy the positive experience? Maybe you are so relieved to have someone to talk to that your anxiety and grief don't seem as bad and you have difficultly connecting to these feeling. Since you are comfortable talking with him, you don't feel the anxiety you have when talking with others (like your H). It then becomes hard to describe, because you aren't actually feeling it that moment.