I am having a meltdown. I've had three interviews with a company so far, and no response back from them yet after I submitted some materials/work of mine to review mid afternoon yesterday.

Everything in my marriage rests on my getting a job. If I have to leave him, I need a job and SOON.

I've emailed many couples counselors so far and am waiting to see if I can secure one who is attuned to domestic abuse issues.

My anxiety is through the roof. I already took one anti-anxiety pill and may need to take another.

My husband is acting like the adoring husband again. He almost seemed pleased and happy that he was able to put his foot down with me about all my questioning yesterday morning. He spouted off on me, saying it MUST STOP, or else we're not going to be happy together. When he came home from work later, he was in a better mood than I had seen him in a while. I wondered why he's in such good spirits, when his back is causing him enormous pain. Maybe he just had a good day at work.

I am not well. My brain is not well.