@sarahsweets;
I said in my reply to OpenEyes that my daddy's family are hardcore bigots. They hate anyone who does not look and think like them. I'm glad we live at opposite ends of the country. I'd probably end up shooting off my mother to them if I had to deal with them now. I think you are wise to not spend the holidays with your uncle, etc.
I might be spending the holidays with family of my best friend. The relatives are very conservative, very bigoted. I'm trying to sort out what I can say or do if they start in. On one hand I don't want to have to listen to hate speech. On the other hand, I will be at their home. There's no way in hades I'm going to change the way they think/believe. I'm thinking of asking them not to use those words around me.
As for why racist/bigoted people seem to be everywhere lately... I believe they've been around all along. It's that the current environment gives them permission to be open about it.