Why do You want to punish Yourself for the others' behaviour ? Give Yourself a chance.
"When we listen to fear, that expectation changes our reality. When we say that we will be able to do the job, we are more able to focus on how to do a good job."
You are still the same person who wrote the above. You are asking us for help. It means there is the light of life inside You.
Do the pills work for You ? Yes. Then take them. Not sure ? Crisis is not a good time to put Yourself to such a test.
Want to make a call ? Take care about Yourself and think what You need not what is appropriate ? Call anybody or any crisis line You think might help. If Your T calls back tell him what You have written to us. Try with small steps. Stay with us a hour, a day longer