I feel very ungrounded and destabilized. I don't feel centered at all. I am literally just trying to hold it together and not lose my s*it again.

No word from that employer on anything since I sent them my work to review. Nothing in one full day, and so far, they've followed up almost immediately with me.

I am feeling very pessimistic and despondent. I don't think I am getting a job offer.

I am trying to coach myself to think more positively - like, well, another even better opportunity will come along, maybe this one wasn't truly meant for me, and when one door closes, another opens...... kinds of things. It's not really working, and I am still really down.

I am also trying to be compassionate with myself. During the interview process, I was going through a lot of crap with my husband on the personal front. I may not have interviewed the best, and I may not have been at my best. Actually, I know I wasn't at my best at all. I was trying to put on a big front when inside I'm falling apart. Talk about challenging - when you're trying to interview while your personal life is a complete mess!

ARGH.